Editor's journey

'Disappointed with God’

SPRINGFIELD, MO. — "If God has so much power, why didn’t He protect my mother?" a young waiter asked, tears filling his eyes. "I can’t serve a God who would do this to me. He let me down. Why did she have to die?"

"I’ve asked God about my father’s death many times," I said, "but there are some questions we won’t have answered until we’re in heaven."

Speaking softly so customers couldn’t hear him, he said, "I don’t think I’m going to heaven. I’m not a Christian like my mother — I’m carnal."

"I have a strong feeling you will be in heaven."

"What makes you think that?" he asked with surprise.

"Because you know God is real. You love your mother and you want to live forever with her in heaven. If your mother were here, she’d probably say something like, ‘Son, I’m not angry with God for taking me to heaven. If you love me, honor my memory by serving God.’ "

"You may be right," he said, "but God owes me. If He wants me, He’ll have to give me some answers."

"Can I be honest with you?" I asked.

"Yes."

"It sounds to me like you think God disappointed you, so now you’re working hard to disappoint Him. God’s Son died too … on a cross for you. God doesn’t owe any of us. But He wants to help you because He loves you. We may not fully understand why our parents died, but this we know — God loves them and He loves you and me."

He nodded as the Holy Spirit softened his heart.

I continued. "The Bible says if we draw near to God, He’ll draw near to us. Take a few steps toward God. Start talking to Him again. Go to church some Sunday and let Him give you the peace you’ve been looking for."

Our discussion ended abruptly when the man’s supervisor summoned him to another table.

Are you disappointed with God? Tell Him how you feel. Get it off your chest. Then say, "Lord, I don’t understand why this happened but still I choose to trust You. I’m going to believe what it says in Romans 8:28: ‘In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose’" (NIV).

— Hal Donaldson

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